#i think sometimes women get upset over seperatist and anti-het advocates because the women pushing these beliefs can be blunt and callous

[2024skin]

okay i fell asleep but radfems with bfs don’t (rightfully) don’t like it when lesbians call them dicksucking dumb bitches but then make fun of women who are in toxic relationships and it’s like 🤨🤨 don’t you read?? shouldn’t you know about hard it is to get rid of female socialization ?? like if you hadn’t read any radfem books you would be probably in the same place as those women that you mock stfu. then they have the nerve to talk about femicide

Okay we woke up angry today which is very relatable hahaha

I just want to put it out there, and it reads like you already know this anon, but I have seen far more bisexual women make vulgar/degrading comments about het-partnered women than lesbians. so I think its unfair to associate lesbians with these toxic, reductive, anti-women comments about OSA women when lesbians appear to be the minority of offenders (from what I have seen)

I think you are onto something deeper here about female socialization and it reminds me of when Dworkin wrote about how girls learn from a young age to try and seperate themselves from other women (particularly their mothers) in order to gain good standing with men and avoid the humiliation and abuse that is projected onto the other women in their lives

- like you said, simply Knowing about male violence and sexism is not enough to undo a lifetime of female socialization, and the desire to achieve "safety" by raising your status above other women is a part of that. It's often done unconsciously and addressing it creates a lot of shame and guilt within a woman, so it's a behavior that newly peaked feminists are not as eager to acknowledge and work through. Many women ("feminist" or not) will never quit putting down other women because this behavior, unlike wearing heels or putting on makeup, only hurts other women and does not have the same negative consequences for the lady who is acting out.

On the flipside, reading feminist theory does not protect you from male violence anymore than the next girl. The women who are the most angry and disappointed in het-partnered women likely would find themselves with misogynistic and even dangerous men IF they chose to engage with men for extended lengths of time. I tend to avoid blogs that dedicate any amount of time to butting into other women's business, which means I am not privy to the lives and dating habits of women who think dating men makes you a cocksucking whore (altho they certainly seem to be invested in my life since I got 2 anons this morning requesting for my cumbrain to quit orbiting radblr 😐). So I can't really say if the women who feel entitled to harass and condescend to other women are hypocrites or male-partnered or whatnot.

If you have seen het-partnered women condescending to battered women or other women dating men, then I think it's safe to dismiss their comments as purposefully unhelpful. Obviously those women are not bleeding-heart seperatists who are moved to anger by their concerns for OSA women; they're just mean girls who are too NEET and antisocial to be part of a toxic social hierarchy in real life. Luckily, these women are easy to spot and avoid in real life, and their opinions don't have to stop either of us from looking out for each other and other het-partnered women.